Renae's Site

There was once a kid who overheard his parents screwing. His father told his mother,"Oh, you have such nice big titties!" His mother told his father,"Oh, you have such a big, long cock!" He asked his dad what titties and cocks were. His dad Told him,"Titties are big hats that women wear, and cocks are big long coats that men wear." The next day, he overhears his parents arguing. His dad calls his mom a bitch and his mom calls his dad a bastard. He asks his mom what a bitch and bastard are. His mom tells him,"Well, a bitch is a woman and a bastard is a man." It's the night of the thanksgiving dinner. He walks by the bathroom while his dad is shaving. His dad cuts himself and says,"Shit!" He asks what shit is. "Oh, it's just this stuff I'm getting off my face now." He then walks into the kitchen, where his mom is stuffing the turkey. She slices her finger with a knife and says,"Fuck!" He asks what fuck is. She tells him,"It's what I'm putting in the turkey." The guests arrive,and the kid wants to show off His new vocabulary. "Hi, there, bitches and bastards. Allow me to take your titties and cocks and hang them up for you. My daddy's in the batroom wiping the shit off his face and my mommy's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."

Dear Santa

You must be surprised that I'm writing you today, the 26th of December. Well, I would very much like to clear up certain things that have occurred since the beginning of the month! While filled with illusion I wrote you a letter and I asked for a bicycle, an electric train set, a pair of rollerblades, and a football uniform. I destroyed my brain studying the whole year! Not only was I the first in my class, but I had the best grades in the whole school. I'm not going to lie to you, Santa, there was no one in my entire neighborhood that behaved better than me. With my parents, my brothers, my friends and with my neighbors, I would go on errands and even help the elderly cross the street. There was virtually nothing I wouldn't do for humanity! WHAT BALLS YOU HAVE LEAVING ME A FUCKING YO-YO, A STUPID ASS WHISTLE, AND A PAIR OF SOCKS! WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING, YOU FAT SON OF A BITCH? YOU'VE TAKEN ME FOR A SUCKER THE WHOLE FUCKING YEAR, TO COME OUT WITH SOME SHIT LIKE THIS UNDER THE DAMN TREE. AS IF YOU HADN'T FUCKED ME ENOUGH, YOU GAVE THAT LITTLE SHITHEAD ACROSS THE STREET SO MANY FUCKING TOYS, THAT HE CAN'T EVEN WALK INTO HIS DAMN HOUSE! PLEASE DON'T LET ME SEE YOU TRYING TO FIT YOUR BIG FAT ASS DOWN MY CHIMNEY NEXT YEAR! I'LL FUCK YOU UP! I'LL THROW ROCKS AT THOSE STUPID ASS REINDEERS OF YOURS, AND SCARE THEM THE FUCK AWAY, SO YOU'LL HAVE TO WALK YOUR BIG FAT ASS BACK TO THE NORTHPOLE, JUST LIKE I HAVE TO DO SINCE YOU DIDN'T GET ME THAT FUCKING BIKE, YOU PUNK BITCH!! YOU KNOW WHAT SANTA, FUCK YOU!! NEXT YEAR YOU'LL FIND OUT HOW BAD I CAN REALLY FUCKING BE...YOU'VE BEEN SLEEPING ON A MOTHERFUCKER FAR TOO LONG! SO WATCH YOUR BACK NEXT YEAR, YOU FAT BITCH! Sincerely, Johnny